Monday, September 22, 2008 @ 10:03 PM
U know wht? life's back.. pathetic life is over.. my aunt went back to jb already.. however it is.. i found out tht they were not as bad as how they used to be anymore.. or mayb its because we dun stay together anymore.. so i cant reli see how they are anymore.. their true colours.. their true faces which is hidden behind a colorful mask.. is this the case? or was it my own perception?couldnt be botheredhow do i feel exactly when i am typing here saying tht pathetic life is over? how pathetic is my pathetic life? obviously i know tht i can NEVER EVER compare my so called pathetic life with those reli unfortunate ones.. i feel lucky for myself by just thinking of tht.. the point is, i screwed up my previous mock exam.. i screwed up my psycho (previously second highest in the whole january-march intake).. i screwed up my Econs (which is understanable.. i didn't bother to revise a single piece of material tht was given).. the only thing i did well was Law.. but god knows how much i get.. cuz i have not taken back the paper yet..couldn't be botheredwho should i blame for all these exam 'misfortunes'? obviously i am the one to blame.. but again.. there's no point crying over spilled milk.. i might.. nooo.. i could have screwed up my mock exam.. but i swear.. i will never want to screw up my AS exam as well.. i think i am being emotional again.. GAHH.. this is wht PMS does..couldn't be botheredi reli need to get a life back.. i think this is a part of growing up.. giving more attention into things tht u know it wont work.. leaving out more important things.. and u get the consequences for doing so.. then u'll have to patch up every damages u've caused.. i think thts life.. thts something tht i shud reli learn, master and apply in future.. i have learnt my lesson already.. i have one more month before my AS exam.. i will have sufficient reading and i will get excellent straight As..couldn't be botheredenough with my study-laments.. i've got too many things to talk bout except for my own studies.. i am planning to learn piano.. this was a plan since.. hmm.. i dun remember when.. i guess its when i was form3.. i am planning to re-organize myself.. planning to discipline myself.. too many plans ahead.. and the most exciting & thrilling plan is.. after my AS exam.. i WILL go over to Singapore to shop till i DROP.. thts a reward for studying very very hard just for my beloved AS exam.. all ryte.. thts a deal..couldn't be botheredwhat can i say bout him? i've got nothing to complain about.. cuz i dunno wht shud i comment bout him.. we still talk on the phone everyday.. and my bunch of worries are still here with me.. tormenting me whenever i start thinking alot again.. shud i just clear up my worries with him? i shud.. i know tht.. but i just cant bring myself to talk to him bout it.. my aunt was asking me whther how sure am i tht he wont search for others when he is there and with this big distance? to be frank.. i reli dunno.. but i answered my aunt with plenty assurance saying tht i have faith in him.. i just dun want my mom to worry bout me.. and yeah.. my mom happened to know bout him.. cuz she saw us talking on the phone every night.. besides tht, wht other worries have i got? i dunno.. i feel scared.. and thts all i am SURE of.. i think i am beginning to fall for him.. thts bad aight? i know tht.. i am beginning to like him even more and more, till i might even start to love him and thts y i am scared tht it wont work.. i guess love reli makes me a greedy person.. now i want it to work.. wht bout future? how terrible can i be?couldn't be botheredP/S: Jackie.. are u all right?
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