Friday, May 30, 2008 @ 10:52 PM
PMS post no.1
When the rain starts pouring,
i used to hope tht it'll nvr stops,
no matter how much i feel depressed within me,
i insist to stay on despite how bad it hurts inside,
i waited n waited for u to appear when i nid u,
but u nvr seem to be there for me,
if the day u ever figure out how am i feeling at this moment,
will i still b there,
waiting, hoping, and expecting you?
will i still be a fool,
lying to myself tht u are really concern bout me?
i am a fool
went out with jyy wei to listen to her bitch bout the guy she likes.. i can reli c how much she likes the guy.. i can c how much she's reli struggling to understand him.. i can c how much she wanted the guy to show tht he cares.. she reli reminds me of myself.. how pathetic i am.. the guy nvr reli express how he feels.. he's again the wooden type.. he takes her for granted.. like how he does... she reli reminded me how pathetic i am.. the person i love with all my heart, nvr fail to make me cry..
i am a fool
i reli feel depressed though, waited and waited for him.. but he ended up not contacting me again.. eventhough i thought tht he is changing.. he is reli improving.. am i just dumb or wht? i dunno.. i feel like m making a fool of myself..
i am a fool
anyway.. bought 2shirts and a jean today.. m finding a denim skirt.. i realised i got nice legs.. LOL
inspires
Thursday, May 29, 2008 @ 12:04 AM
PMS post
i think i did alot.. for him.. for us.. i did more than wht i shud do.. to maintain and save our relationship.. its weird huh? m not his gf.. and he's not my bf.. i did all these to ensure i wont regret in future.. blaming myself for not doing it when the feeling is still there... wht bout him? i dunno.. like i said.. it just seems tht he doesnt care.. can he just show me tht he cares?
inspires
Sunday, May 25, 2008 @ 9:10 PM
傻瓜 (idiot)
其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁 暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说
其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱
撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭
傻瓜也许单纯得多
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留
傻瓜
我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤
傻瓜
我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜
inspires
4:21 PM
of i found myself!
okayy.. m bak.. feeling MUCH MUCH MUCH beta inside..everyone around me inspire me though.. they taught me (indirectly) bout life and love.. to those who reli cares for me.. i am all right now.. dun worry.. Jackie.. a special thanks to u.. u're the one who i would turn to and 'mourn' and complain bout everything.. the thing u just told me reli inspires me somehow.. *love its just a feeling, n we shouldnt change ourselves/be selfish/obsessed over it too much.. life's still got so much more stuff other than love*feeling beta.and Jyy wei, babe a.k.a bitch a.k.a slut, thanks for consulting me.. and of cuz Lye.. thanks for listening to me.. and i hope i did not left out anyone.. in case i did, u know who u are kayy.. altho i didnt mention ur name here.. and i learned another thing too.. he's not my bf.. he doesnt nid to do things tht i expect him to do for me.. he has his own freedom too.. and yeah.. m reli feeling better inside.. Perhaps Sunday is reli not a bad day.. the weather is good too.. its gonna rain soon anyway.. love it the most.. but i hope it will not start raining yet.. cuz m bringing my dog to a usual-weekends-walk at 6pm..
feeling beta.
m reli gonna start focusing in my academics already.. m quite kiasu actually.. to those who reli knows me of cuz.. i was so blindfolded in the past.. but i can reli c thing at a clearer view now.. and i dreamt bout myself laz nite.. getting the highest marks for Psychology.. hmmm.. greedy huh? noone wants to be inferior righttt? all right.. gonna start to be hardworkig in my studies as well as updating my blog..
inspires
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 @ 10:52 PM
Jackie.. if u're reading this.. i can join ur club now.. i'll tell u in detail if i c u online nez time.. its too pain to tok bout it now..
inspires
Saturday, May 10, 2008 @ 4:52 PM
i was having insomnia last nite.. thinking lots and lots of things.. thinking whther if he doesnt nid me actually... i mean serious lar.. i have prove and evidence with me.. like.. he told me he's gonna call me at 3pm.. but wht he did was only sent me a msg on 11.30++.. mayb he likes me.. but only more than a friend. not tht much..
i'm so confused.
i have this feeling or this sudden urge to ask him whther who am i to him.. but the question is.. am i able to withstand the answer tht he's gonna give me? altho i knew tht he's not gonna give me any clear answers.. but the question tht has been running in my mind is whther who am i to him? and whther if he likes me or not..
i'm so confused.
i have actually hinted him the other day by asking whther if he miss me or not.. and he didnt give me any clear answer.. as usual.. Jackie told me to push him further so tht i can get an answer.. but i dun wanna do tht.. i dun want him to feel stressed out bcuz of me.. i just dont understand wht he is thinking.. many have actually convinced me to ask him.. but wouldnt it b quite weird if someone asks u wht are u thinking suddenly? thts the point.. Louis told me before tht he is a passive and shy guy.. mayb he is not keen at confessing his feelings? and i seriously dont understand wht is he thinking..
i'm so confused.
i nid him to tell me the answer whther he likes me or not.. i nid him to tell me the answer whther wht is he thinking actually.. he can b very close to me at this moment.. and he'll not b so close to me the nez day.. i NEED TO KNOW WHT IS HE THINKING
inspires
12:31 AM
i'm giving him the name, BUGGER.. i dunno why.. just feel like doing so.. cuz he keeps flashing into my mind without my conscent.. images of him are always potrayed in my mind.. and i kenot control it.. i better stop thinking bout him.. tht bugger kenot come online today.. and we KINDA sms-ed lar.. i still dun understand y it takes him so long to reply a msg of mine.. he reli has the ability to make me go crazy.. i asked him how is labuan.. and whther is everything there all right.. this is how he replied me
''Labuan is still ok.. better than my hometown.. i
like the beach here.. cuz those bikini girls are waiting for me''
all right.. i have the feeling tht he's just trying to make me feel jealous.. i better stop feeling jealous already.. i shall not fall on his trap.. i nid to constanly remind myself.. ' its all right mindy.. no big deal..'
nothing much happened today.. louis is kinda 'ill' for class.. but he came to fetch me to college.. thts very kind of him.. and he went home after tht.. he doesnt nid to do tht actually.. i knew why he did all these.. its because he likes me.. but i just dun have the feelings tht one is supposed to have when u like somebody.. i dun feel my heart pumping faster when he is around me.. i dun feel anything.. and i'm reli clear of this one thing.. i am only treating him as my (male) close buddy.. and there's another point.. i LIKE robin.. and i still do.. i kenot get over him yet..
inspires
Thursday, May 8, 2008 @ 10:26 PM
today
hmmmm.. nothing much happened today.. beginning to think tht louis is annoying.. thts bad.. mayb its the effect of wht he just told me laz nite.. i better start forgetting bout he said laz nite.. and bout the bugger i like.. he never showed any kind of reaction saying tht he likes me.. he nvr leaves any kind of hint saying he likes me..he has the ability to make me smile like an idiot the whole day.. and the ability to make me feel pissed.. thts not a good sign.. my conscience mind is telling me to stay far far away from him.. but i just couldnt do so..
inspires
Wednesday, May 7, 2008 @ 11:36 PM
feeling better
i'm feeling very much better now.. i am more able to take things more lightly now.. i can at least tok to him about my everyday life now.. just tell him stories bout it... and he'll listen.. mayb this is another way of like-ing someone.. another feeling.. a simple way like this can make me smile better.. make me smile more often.. and i reli know this well.. i've been
repeating this to Jackie.. i reli like him.. *smiless*
inspires
Tuesday, May 6, 2008 @ 10:44 PM
i'm still in confusion
i need to get out of this confusion.. i need to get out of it.. m the only one tht could save myself.. but wht can i do?
inspires
Monday, May 5, 2008 @ 11:51 PM
of me
i need to constantly remind myself.. he treats me good cuz he treats me as a good fren
inspires
7:43 PM
PISSED OFF
That's so stupid of me.. can u believe tht i actually confessed? SHIT.. and i got rejected.. wht he did was told me to forget tht i like him.. i felt tht m being fool-ed.. call me an idiot i'll definitely feel better.. i am pissed at every single person who told me he likes me.. i am pissed at louis who told me he thinks tht all of these are rubbish.. cuz its only 1 month plus.. it made me feel worse, worse and worst! CALL ME AN IDIOT.. I WILL DEFINITELY FEEL BETTER!
inspires
Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 10:59 PM
of confused
i'm confused.. Robin called me to tell me he reached Sarawak just now.. i was so happy.. i tot he reli cares for how i feel.. but he called louis too.. i think he's being good.. i dunno.. i feel disappointed.. and i reli feel like crying.. i think i shud just forget bout him.. and he told me he'll call me later.. i waited for 3hrs redi.. its 11 now.. is he gonna call? i dun wanna b in love again.. love is a bitch..
inspires
9:29 PM
SAD
Robin went back already! sad larr.. didnt manage to take pic of him.. sighh.. its all my fault anyway.. was and am still always procrastinating.. i better change this bad habit.. after he went bak oni i realised i like him.. sigh.. but he likes me too.. it doesnt work at all.. i still feel sad.. and i miss him already.. its sad to c how ppl come and go in ur life..
* ok.. the guy in white is robin.. click the pic to enlarge it if u want*
I LIKE U, ROBIN!
inspires
