i'm in sunway lagoon now.. i learnt sumthing.. and i'm reli feeling so down and emo now.. my phone cant use.. mom set credit limit for me.. and she haven pay the bill so i still cant use my phone.. cant get ah wei nor muni to tok to.. again it's bout my mom again.. we came to sunway this afternoon.. weird to us as a KL peep to have our holiday here.. weird huh? others would rather go to europe, japan, hk or even taiwan.. cuz parents are juz so bz for my bro and i..kell said there are pros and cons for everything and i do understand tht.. mom's reli reli bad at treating my bro and i equally.. she woke me up at 10.30 eventho i told her i slept at 4am.. i had to bathe the dog.. cuz m sendin my dog to her fren's house.. and she said m sinful again.. i'm juz so so so tired.. did she ever realised tht it juz wasnt my fault? my bro also said tht he would help ok! but y am i responsibled to all these things now? i reli feel tired.. i reli feel like leaving home.. but its ok.. i endured it.. as i have always did..
then we came to the hotel.. mom booked a room with only one bed plus an extra bed la.. but my bro refused to sleep wiv her n dad.. so she asked me to sleep wiv them la.. but why must i? i never slept with them for my entire life ok.. and i juz dun want to.. so ok la.. she throwed her temper on us.. fine.. but there's totally nth to do with me.. ok.. so we got into a bigger room.. 2singles and an extra bed.. then we went out for a movie.. i told her i wanted to go to roxy and c if there's any nice bikini.. and she told me to go myself and i have to pay it myself.. ok.. wtv.. i dont wanna bother bout this kinda money thing.. m 17 now.. and i want to b responsibled for my own life.. i CAN pay for things tht i wanna buy..
before we walked back to the hotel.. we saw a bunch of ppl practicing ice hockey.. and i was so interested.. i showed them.. and mom asked my bro if he wanna go bak to the hotel or wht.. bro said ok... and they had decided to come bak.. without even askin me if i wanna stay.. withoug even askin me if i wanna watch the game.. without even considering how i feel bout it? am i feeling sensitive? i hate it the most when m lidat.. i dun wanna care bout all these anymore.. but the fact is.. i'm just a loner..
we came bak to the hotel after the movie. and the most important thing is i bought starbucks.. m craving for it.. m addicted to starbucks recently.. then this thing happened.. my bro said he wanted the extra bed, which is further from my parents.. and my bro asked me to take the other single bed which is just bout like 0.3m away from my parents? so i was so excited.. started camwhoring.. started to jump on my bed.,. started to mess the bed up.. then bro wanted to use my cam.. i said no.. cuz i wanna take pic for him.. mom said m so selfish.. i mean like.. I PAY FOR THE CAM OK.. when i asked u (my parents) to buy the cam for me.. wht did they said huh? they said its pointless to have this cam.. we dun need it.. so y do u wanna use now.. anyway. i lent my bro.. but she didnt know.. then i jumped on the bed.. mom told me.. i'm a SELFISH ASS.. m so self-centered and bla bla.. i purposly mess the bed up cuz this is not my bed.. but but but m jumpin on MY bed ok? and she insisted my bro to sleep on the single bed nez to them and i sleep on the extra bed which is further away from them.. my bro refused and told her tht its my bed.. and she insisted.. i feel.. lonely? hurt? am i juz being too sensitive or wht? i dont know.. i've been searchin for the answer for such a long time.. since i was a kid and i was treated this way.. i dunno.. but i reli do feel lonely.. tired.. sick.. sad.. mixed up feeling..
wht i could only do now is to hope for a prince charming to save me from all of these.. to protect me against anything tht would hurt me.. to love me and care for me heaps.. thts all i can do for now..
