have i finished talking about my mother? i reli don't know..there are really too many things i want to write about my mother.. or rather my family.. all ryte.. lets talk about my brother now.. i admit.. i treated him quite bad when i as in form1 and form2.. i reli hated him soo much.. during tht period.. mom and dad temporaly tried to divorce.. the seperated.. dad's living in KL while mom's living in JB.. we were sent to Penang.. living with my aunt.. thts another sad memory.. living with my aunt is not a happy thing.. she gave me lots of things to do.. sweep the floor, wash the toilet, dry the clothes.. but at least.. its at least so much more better than now.. living with my aunt.. i was being bullied by my cousin.. i'm not joking.. mentally bullied.. but it wasnt something really big deal.. tht was the time when i was really happy when i heard tht mom or dad's coming over to aunt's house.. and i would feel reli sad when they go bak.. but i never told this to anyone.. its ok.. when we were living with my aunt.. i c my brother as something who annoys me alot.. something who always tries to please everyone.. something who do not have guts at all.. he was somebody who i envied.. until now.. someone who would get all of my parents attention.. someone who would please my parents.. someone who kenot live independently due to the environment he has been brought up.. he's a kid tht kenot live by his own if he is being send to Africa.. he can't even cook himself a bowl of mee eventho he's 13years old now.. a guy who kenot even wash his own sch shoe.. a guy who kenot even do the house chores.. a guy who don't even have the sense of responsibility! my parents were the cause of everything.. i'm not blaming anyone.. but my brother was more a responsibled boy when he was living with my aunt.. my brother would help us with the chores when he's still living with my aunt.. and for now.. he wouldnt even bother to wash his own cup.. he wouldnt even bother to bring his own dishes to the kitchen altho he dun nid to wash it.. he wouldnt even bother to wash his own sch shoes.. to b honest.. my brother means alot to me.. and i reli mean it.. he means alot to it..
i'm a person who's trully hurt.. from those past unhappy childhood memories.. i'm a person who always feel insecure.. altho i don't show it.. but the insecure-ness just sparkle in my eyes.. i'm a person who always do not have confidence in doing anything.. but noone sees it.. everyone see me as a person who has high confidence.. they just cant see it hidden behind my eyes.. did anyone realise tht i'm the person who kenot really look into someone's eyes? i dont know why.. mayb i'm just too fake.. i fake my life.. i'm not like who u c.. i have evrything kept in my heart.. the true me.. my true feelings for everything.. i'm the type of person who has too much pride in me to turn to someone when i need help.. i'm a person who would choose to give up first before something happens to cause my heart broken.. i'm a pathetic person.. i'm another jerk.. i'm trying my best to leave home.. i'm trying my best to get outta house.. cuz to b honest.. it reli hurts me alot.. home.. is supposed to b a warm place for everyone.. a place for someone to be protected by the cruelty of reality.. i'm still living in my house.. perhaps one day i would just leave home when i'm financially stable.. for ppl out there who tot they know me well.. look at these theree posts.. then u will know how much u know.. i bet noone reli knows bout me.. i'm a person who smiles ouside.. but dont seem to b smiling inside.. i'm a person who smile eventho my heart's crying.. i'm reli an emo person.. this is my only way of spilling out everything.. i had noone to turn to.. i don't wanna turn to anyone.. i dont wanna b a burden or trouble to anyone.. i used to had this dream.. waiting for the true guy tht will understand my true feelings.. but noone did.. until now.. the true guy tht fulfills every aspect tht i dreamt of. also TRUE friend who would really give their heart to me.. their true heart to me.. did i mentioned tht i'm strong? Yes i am.. i'm still holding on.. keep holding on.. till those ppl tht i dream of.. come into my life.. stay strong ---> to everyone who are feeling traumatised or those who are even worse than me.. the true victory belongs to the one who tried his/her best..
